Everyday Ableism: “But You Don’t Look Disabled”

There is no single way to look disabled.

And yet disabled people are constantly evaluated by appearance.

You look healthy.

You walked a few steps.

You smiled.

You went somewhere yesterday.

You’re young.

You’re dressed nicely.

You stood up from your wheelchair.

Therefore, someone decides, you must not really be disabled.

This is one of the most common forms of everyday ableism because it comes from a very narrow understanding of disability.

Many disabilities are invisible.

Others are dynamic, meaning symptoms and capacity change from hour to hour or day to day.

Someone may be able to walk across their living room but need a wheelchair to navigate a grocery store.

Someone may be able to attend an event and then need two days of recovery afterward.

Someone may look completely comfortable while actively managing pain, dizziness, fatigue, sensory overload, or autonomic symptoms.

Disability is not determined by whether another person can see it.

It is also important to understand that mobility aids are not reserved for people who are completely unable to walk.

Wheelchairs, canes, walkers, braces, scooters, and other supports can reduce pain, prevent falls, conserve energy, and allow someone to participate more fully in their life.

The better question is not:

“Do they really need that?”

The better question is:

“Does this help them access their life?”

Disabled people should not have to perform visible suffering to make their disability believable.

We should not have to look sick enough, struggle publicly enough, or disclose enough medical information to earn access.

Sometimes the most respectful response to learning that someone is disabled is also the simplest:

Believe them.