Are Some Healing Books Actually Harmful? Let’s Talk About It Honestly
By Monica Munson
Restorative Healing Haven
The Conversation That Keeps Coming Up
I’ve been seeing more conversations lately about certain healing books being labeled as “problematic” or even harmful.
Two that I’ve seen mentioned are:
The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk
The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
And I want to be clear right away:
I don’t agree with treating these as the same kind of “problematic.”
They’re two very different conversations.
Let’s Talk About The Body Keeps the Score
This book is:
dense
clinical
emotionally heavy
and at times, a lot to take in
And yes—it can absolutely be activating.
If you’re:
already overwhelmed
in a vulnerable headspace
or reading it without support
…it can feel like too much.
That’s real.
And if that’s where you’re at?
It might not be the right time to read it.
But “Too Much” Doesn’t Mean “Harmful”
Not everything that feels intense is harmful.
Sometimes it’s just honest.
Trauma is heavy.
So learning about trauma won’t always feel easy or comfortable.
And removing material like this entirely doesn’t make trauma education better.
It just makes it more surface-level.
Capacity Matters
Not everyone is in the same place when they engage with trauma content.
Some people:
are early in their healing
don’t have strong support systems
feel easily overwhelmed
For them, this book might not be supportive right now.
But there are also people who:
have lived through trauma
have some level of internal stability
already engage with heavy emotional content
For those people…
This book often isn’t shocking.
It’s clarifying.
It helps them understand:
“This is what’s happening in my body.”
A Reality We Don’t Talk About Enough
A lot of people are already engaging with heavy content in everyday life:
horror films
true crime
dark or emotional storytelling
So for some people, a book like this isn’t what overwhelms them.
It’s what helps things finally make sense.
And for people who:
can’t afford therapy
don’t have access to consistent support
…it can be a starting point.
Not a replacement for care—but a starting point.
The Practitioner Conversation (This Is Where It Gets Serious)
This is the part that needs to be said more clearly.
There are people in training—future therapists, counselors, and practitioners—saying this book is too retraumatizing or too overwhelming to read.
And yes, activation is real.
But so is the responsibility of the work they’re choosing.
If reading about trauma is dysregulating to the point where you can’t stay present with it…
that’s not something to dismiss.
That’s something to take seriously before stepping into a role where someone else is depending on you to hold steady in the middle of their experience.
Because in real-world practice:
you don’t get to skip the hard stories
you don’t get to control what someone shares
you don’t get a warning before something heavy comes up
You are sitting with people who may be:
deeply traumatized
overwhelmed
in crisis
or navigating the hardest moments of their lives
This is not theoretical.
This is real, human weight.
This Work Requires Regulation Capacity
This isn’t about being “tough.”
It’s about being regulated enough to stay present.
Because when someone is sharing something heavy, they are not just looking for:
knowledge
or the “right” response
They are looking for:
steadiness
safety
and someone who can stay with them without pulling away
If a practitioner becomes overwhelmed in that moment, it doesn’t just impact them.
It impacts the person who trusted them enough to open up.
And in some cases, the stakes in those moments are higher than we like to admit.
Avoidance Doesn’t Prepare You for This
If the response becomes:
“Remove the material”
Instead of:
“Support people in learning how to engage with it safely”
Then we’re not preparing future practitioners.
We’re avoiding the depth of the work.
And that depth doesn’t go away.
It shows up later—when someone is sitting across from you, needing you to stay.
Let’s Talk About The Let Them Theory
This is a different kind of concern.
With The Let Them Theory, the issue isn’t intensity.
It’s oversimplification.
In trauma contexts, “just let them” can become:
tolerating harmful behavior
avoiding boundaries
bypassing deeper emotional work
That’s where it becomes problematic.
Not because it’s heavy—but because it can skip over what actually needs to be addressed.
My Perspective as a Practitioner
As a trauma-informed, complementary therapist with lived experience—
I don’t believe in avoiding the reality of trauma.
But I also don’t believe in overwhelming people without support.
So my approach is:
don’t remove the depth
don’t oversimplify the work
and don’t assume everyone is in the same place
Instead:
meet people where they are
move at a pace their body can handle
and support regulation along the way
Final Thoughts
Not everything that feels intense is harmful.
And not everything that sounds helpful is actually supportive.
We need more nuance in these conversations.
If something feels like too much, you’re allowed to step away.
If something helped you understand yourself, that’s valid too.
And if you’re choosing to step into a role where people will trust you with their most vulnerable experiences…
Being able to stay grounded in the presence of heavy things
is not optional.
It’s part of the responsibility that comes with that work.
If You Want Support Navigating This Work
You don’t have to figure this out alone.
My Mind-Body Trauma Healing sessions are designed to:
help you understand what’s happening in your body
move at a pace that feels supportive
and process without overwhelm
📱 Text 269-767-8920 to book or learn more.