Disabled and chronically ill people hear this question constantly.
Have you tried yoga?
Have you tried losing weight?
Have you tried going gluten-free?
Have you tried this supplement?
Have you tried exercising more?
Have you tried exercising less?
Have you tried meditation?
Have you tried thinking more positively?
Usually, the person asking means well.
They want to help.
But unsolicited health advice can quickly become another form of everyday ableism.
It assumes the disabled person has not already thought deeply about their own body.
It assumes the solution might be obvious.
And sometimes it implies that if the person is still disabled, they simply have not tried hard enough to fix it.
Many disabled and chronically ill people spend years researching symptoms, attending appointments, trying medications, changing routines, doing physical therapy, tracking triggers, adjusting diets, and experimenting with different forms of support.
By the time someone casually suggests yoga, there is a good chance the person has already heard it.
Possibly many times.
The problem is not that people should never share useful information.
The difference is consent.
There is a huge difference between:
“Have you tried this? It cured my cousin.”
and
“I came across something related to what you mentioned. Would you like me to send it to you?”
One assumes expertise.
The other gives the disabled person a choice.
It is also important to understand that managing a chronic condition is not the same as curing it.
Something can help without making a person nondisabled.
Medication can help.
Mobility aids can help.
Therapy can help.
Rest can help.
Dietary changes can help.
None of those things mean a person will stop being disabled.
Sometimes the most supportive response to hearing about someone’s health is not to solve it.
It is simply to listen.
You can ask:
“Do you want ideas, or do you just need me to hear you?”
That small question respects something disabled people are often denied:
The right to be the authority on our own bodies.