When “Happy Mother’s Day” Isn’t So Happy: The Quiet Rage No One Talks About
Mother’s Day is painted as this soft, pastel-hued celebration—but for many survivors, it can feel anything but peaceful.
This year, I received a simple message from my ex:
“Happy Mother’s Day.”
It should’ve rolled off my back. But instead, it hit like a sucker punch to the gut. Because behind those three words is a mountain of harm. A history of emotional abuse, control, gaslighting, and years of me doing it all on my own.
This wasn’t a kind message. It was a trigger.
When Abusers Send Kind Messages
Narcissistic exes are good at keeping a toe in the door. They'll send just enough to look like the “nice guy”—not enough to take accountability. These little breadcrumbs feel like bait: “See? I’m being respectful.”
But if you’re like me, that message isn’t comforting. It’s infuriating. Because where was that energy when you were crying on the bathroom floor? Where was that support when you were left parenting in survival mode?
This isn’t about bitterness. It’s about truth. It's about the way trauma lives in the body—and how a three-word message can feel like it’s yanking you back in time.
Rage Is Not a Failure—It's a Sign You Survived
So many moms are conditioned to “just be grateful” on holidays like this. But what about the ones who are carrying grief, anger, and exhaustion? The moms who were never celebrated the way they deserved to be?
If you feel that quiet rage today:
You're not broken.
You're not “overreacting.”
You're finally recognizing your worth.
You are allowed to feel angry at the people who made you feel small. You are allowed to not respond. You are allowed to protect your peace.
A Message to the Moms Who Are Doing It Alone
You don’t need a text from someone who hurt you to validate your motherhood.
You’ve already proven everything by waking up every day and doing the work.
Even when you were exhausted.
Even when no one thanked you.
Even when trauma made your body scream for rest.
You are sacred. You are strong. You are so deeply worthy of being celebrated.
Book Recommendation:
“Healing the Mother Wound” by Bethany Webster
If today feels heavy, this book offers powerful insight into how societal expectations, trauma, and patriarchy have shaped our experience of motherhood—and how we can reclaim it on our terms.
If You Need Support, I’m Here
If this post resonated, know that you’re not alone. I support women navigating trauma, PTSD, and emotional healing through gentle, holistic methods like:
Root Cause Therapy (subconscious healing)
Somatic Healing (nervous system support)
Reiki + Energy Work
Regulating Sound Baths
Whether you're ready to dig deep or just need a space to breathe again, you’re welcome here.
Explore sessions or book a free consult at:
www.restorativehealinghaven.com